I Exist In Two Worlds

I exist in two worlds.
Let me tell you a story.
There was once a kid
Who wasn’t perceived
As she perceived herself.
There were little marbles she kept to herself;
There were others caught red-handed
By those called human.

Well, this all led to a great big commotion on human land –
There were marbles everywhere.

Maps were brought, borders drawn,
And I relocated.
Now I exist in two worlds,
Everywhere:

One where I am perceived;
One where I perceive myself.

Of the first, the humans know.
I have settled there amongst them.

Of the second,
How dare you ask?

It is mine, and mine alone.
Some have glimpsed it in my clumsier days
When I would lose my marbles around the way.

Some others have heard of it,
For I need to tell them where I go
When I move away.

But it is my island alone.
Forget what they see,
Or what they tell you about me.
On my island no one perceives me,
And I am nothing.
The waters are my murky mirror,
And I see the norm.
The norm of one –
The ordinary, the alright.

You met me in the world of humans.
Hours later, I told you of my home.
And then, you stood at the gate.

I didn’t know but you followed me all the way.
And then you stood at the gate,
Smiling in your harmless way.
But why, oh why, do you have to know?
Perceive me like the humans do.
Aren’t you a human too?

Here I roam naked.
And I have no body.
I do not shower.
Maybe I have dreads.
I wash when I wander into the ocean.
And the ocean is all of my thoughts,
Free and strange.

Why must you come here,
And catch me when I wear no garb
Of edited beauty
Fitting into human scales?

You will not know what to think,
For this is emptiness.

And yet,
Here you are,
In my island,
With my most embarrassing nakedness.
Does it look like a place for guests?

And yet, here you are.
I do not know why I let you in.

When I talk of you,
I can talk of ethnicity and incense;
I can talk of language,
And the beauty of your face;
I can talk of how you make me want to sigh
In the same breath as you.

But none of that matters.
Because you can exist in my island
In silence.

And so you bring me peace.
The only one.
I’m scared, it makes me cry,
But with you, I can be naked.

You are not here to see,
Take notes,
And tell the humans on me.
You are here to be;
Simply to be let in.
So yes, you can walk into my ocean.
You don’t scare the fish.
All you ever do
Is smile in that harmless way.

I know, I know.
The humans weren’t nice to you either.
In my island, you can be.
No one will do you harm,
For here nothing is done.

Maybe, someday,
I’ll take you to the very core.
No, this isn’t all there is to see.
Why am I telling you this?
I don’t know.
Losing my marbles to you
Doesn’t feel like losing.

Yes, maybe, I’ll take you there.
I don’t want to believe it,
For it is fucking frightening.
Let’s deny it, shall we?

But you fail to frighten me.
You just smile
In that harmless sort of way.
It is unnerving,
I have seen nothing like it.

And you have seen things
I wasn’t sure about showing.
You seem to know the lay of this land,
Like a new freckle on your hand.

Let’s just wander,
And be free.
Let me think,
And you can see.
And let’s be quiet.
Let’s go for a dip.
Maybe you are naked too.

It’s a nice change, isn’t it?
If I go quiet in the human world,
You know where I will be.

It’s nice to have you here.
My pleasures aren’t mine alone,
Like the only one who gets a joke.
I like that there is someone
Who finally gets it too.

Do not get me wrong.
On both worlds, it is me.
There is little trickery.
I enjoy both equally.
And to my existence,
Both are necessary.

I have never disliked my difference.
On human world, it is royalty.

It is just nice to have someone
Who sees the grand Queen
With her sceptre and crown;
And the lonely island man
With his huts and silence;
And understands the difference
Only to be understanding.

For that, you have my heart
In every world.

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