Silent Doubts And Wistful Reminiscence

Love, why do you stand so far away?
Have I scared you with my love?
Or have you scared yourself with yours?
I still remember the bus ride,
The movie, the metro.

I remember your touch,
I remember the kiss,
The flying train above,
With it’s lights and its noise,
So, what went amiss?

I remember the bus after ’22se Srabon’,
Watching the shadows fleeting past your face,
Looking out into the dim yellow streets,
Sinking into your embrace.

You are a puzzle I don’t want to solve,
A myth I want to believe.
Now, I stand alone gazing into the storm
And going back to the rain on Ashtami.

I keep going back to last fall.
I remember us holding onto each other in crowds,
And again holding each other in empty streets,
And wondering what it means…

I remember you looking into my eyes
In a way that says, “You are mine.”
Giant wheel and a kiss on the cheek,
Looking for reasons to hold hands, playing hide and seek.

Now my days are filled with…nothing,
Empty phone calls and silent wondering.
Did I hold you too close?
Did I kiss you too much?
Did I want you too badly?

The phone rings but nobody answers.
In a house full of ghosts and regrets,
I too am a ghost wistful of bygone days
And your infatuated smiling face.

Now I see us in a black and white world,
Standing across a shadowy street,
Gazing silently without a word,
Too afraid to say the truth, too afraid to speak.

Would you take me in if I knocked on your door,
Say, on a wild and wintry night, alone?
Would you hold me close and quieten my fears,
Or would you simply pretend nobody’s home?

Am I the flower-girl you mistook for a princess?
Am I a regretted mistake?
Did I wreak too much havoc in your happy world,
Or did I take up too much of your space?

You were the proud prince
Who lost his heart to the palace maid.
But in the throng of worthy courtiers,
Love for the maid remains unsaid.

Let me go, my darling.
I have been knocking on your door long enough.
Don’t keep me waiting here in the snow.
Open the door and tell me to go.

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